hi.

I have no time to update this. School sucks ass. Im so tired. my god.

I have stuff to add to dyemylove. I just don't want to think too much about "that stuff" so i'm putting off adding an entry in there. *sigh*

Tomorrow night is the homecoming dance at school. Its actually my first time going. 9th grade i hated the school and pretty much every single person in it. 10th grade i was mad at myself and didn't go...for some unknown reason. And this year i'm going because i went to Winter Carnival last year and it wasn't a complete waste of time. I must say though, if i had anything better to do i would SO be doing that.

My driving has improved. I can drive all the way from Ashley's house to mine without having my mom remind me to stop sooner or later or anything like that so i guess thats a good thing. I just have this bad habit of going into panic and not knowing what to do. I don't like having that much responsibility on my shoulders. I have to sign up for driving time with the instructor next week. Im scared

New Used CD in 5 days. I heard two new songs today too. They are FANTASTIC. This one is lovely and i cannot wait to hear it in between all the other FANTASTIC songs on their new CD that is coming out in 5 DAYS (but you already knew that right?)

"Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
Love is not like anything.
Especially a fucking knife.
Like I fell, you can tell.
By the way I move into my head. Do you think that it's me?
Or it's not me I don't even care. I'm alive.
I swear I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
I feel pain.
I feel
Just look at me. Look at me now. (I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake)."
-The (mother fucking) Used. "I'm a fake."

I listened to this song so many times.

I have to go start my drivers ed project. Its due next week. that sucks....i changed my mind. It's not due until next week-therefore i will not start it until next week.

Must memorize 13 right of way laws so i don't fail and never drive legally by myself.

1) pedestrians.

2) traffic circle.

3) blind.

4) car going downhill over car going uphill

5) Main road over private road.

6) Emergency vehicle. (police, fire, ambulance.)

oh shit. There are 13 right of way laws. I can only remember 6. I am so fucked. My brain hurts.

I had a little fight with my mom after school. About my cousin's wedding. I hardly know the cousin. I had a conversation with my grandmother about how the invitation lists had to be shortened because there were too many people on it so i volunteered myself to be put off it. (i dont want to go anyway) Unfortunately, My cousin decided she wants me to be there so i have to go now. I said alright...As long as i don't have to "change and be normal" to please my grandmother and if i could buy a new dress (that i would later wear over pants all the time. heh.) Bad news: I can't have pink hair for the wedding....then she changed her mind and said i could...but andrew can't have pink hair at the wedding because "he's a guy." The AWSOME dress i picked out to wear is not wedding appropriate because...get this...there are too many bows and frilly things. SINCE WHEN AM I NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR BOWS AND FRILLS TO A WEDDING?!! ISNT THAT WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME? ISNT THAT WHAT "NORMAL" TEENAGED GIRLS WITHOUT NEON RED HAIR AND NOSE AND EYEBROW RINGS WANT TO WEAR TO WEDDINGS?

my god.

I hate this. I am so wearing that dress. and i'm not wearing a retainer in my eyebrow or a stud in my nose. so there.

My cat is beating up my other cat again. I have to go tear them apart.

later.

~Britt

PS- This is the fantastic dress i want for the wedding.